The Weight of The Mantle

I noticed for years that with some people they can speak to others anyhow they choose to and these same people would stick around that person as though nothing happened or their words didn't affect them. It's as if they were selfless to the one who have no respect for their feelings but as for some persons like myself it is a different case. It’s as if I have to be very cautious with my choice of words and how I say them to others because they get so easily offended and in most cases there is a cut off or resentment because of this.

I struggled with this understanding for years and would always ask the LORD why is it that I have to always be on the watch with my words all the time when it comes to others. Why can't I just say how I FEEL any how I want like others can do. Why is it that when I do the very same thing or act the same way as some do why does it bring a different result than theirs?

I remember a case I had with one of my aunt. We had an argument/s years ago and I remember she saying some hurtful words to me, words that an aunt should never say to her niece or nephew yet she felt comfortable to say them to me. Some are too explicit to express here. At the time I knew of a soar foot that she had and I must have said something negative towards that and to this date my aunt does not speak to me and has cut me off even when I tried to reach out to her she was would not be receptive to repair our broken relationship in fact, she claimed she has forgiven me but she said that she will never forget what I said because she felt like as her niece I should have never said those words to her. She is not remorseful for what she said to me but she is resentful for what I said to her. Also, I would have noticed she having so many conflicts with others where worst than that was said to her and to this day I see that she has longed forgive the persons and have repaired those relationships.

What’s the difference with me then? I asked myself and this was something I just couldn’t understand. Now, I noticed the same with others even my husband sometimes while we are arguing I would say some horrible things to him out of anger I even remember at once saying to him how a particular ungodly lifestyle that I was living was better than being with him. This opened a door 🚪 I wasn’t prepared to handle. Before I talk about the opened door, let me first say this. I noticed that  whenever I would say these things to him, it affects him so much and after which he would say to me that what I said to him, hurt him to the core and it's as if I could actually see the pain in his soul for what I had said. At first I thought but "I have heard your ex said worst than this to you and it never affected you this much when you were with her so what’s the difference with me? I have never even said half of what she would say to you yet, you are making such a big deal out of it."

This was a puzzle for me and often times I wandered off feeling like the “victim” and that something was wrong with me because I had to go above and beyond to find grace or favor in the sight of men. Little did I know it was all because of the mantle of God that I carried.

The least thing I said was affecting the people I love. LORD, why was this happening to me? I was tired of losing people because of this thing. Until one day when I mentioned to my husband a past relationship I was in with another female and how I enjoyed being with her because she didn’t cause me such pain like he did. Yes, I said this while being a Christian. The Lord allowed this to opened a door I wasn’t prepared to handle. For months I was battling with a perverted spirit. This spirit visited my room almost every morning between 7-8am and would oppress me. The oppression drove me to intense prayer and fasten, Seeking God of course for my deliverance but it felt like I was crying and God wasn't even hearing my prayers. It was a very difficult time of my life. I had no where else to turn to. No one could help except for God but he's not answering!

During this time I was losing friends because of this same issue. when I get upset I would say things to them that was distasteful. One day while sharing a situation to one of my close friend I blurted out that “I saw yuh husband calling mi on video call too the other night and I didn’t even answer” I didn’t know that she would be offended of this because her husband and I are like sister and brother and so she was not pleased to know I would see him calling and purposely ignored the call and she took the matter to her husband. When she brought the matter back to me and how it made her felt I apologize but deep down I know her husband is affected by what I said even though she denied that he wasn't and that it was no big deal. The next morning I woke up to him deleting my number.

The point I’m making is that, when I say things I shouldn’t it doesn’t easily go away. It affects, it tears down and pluck up, it wound but LORD WHY? What’s the difference between me and some that operate the same way or even worst but don’t get the same result of resentment and cut off as I do?

As I sort the LORD on the demonic door that was opened, I had no idea how this door was opened but to give you an inside scoop I would get these dreams where I was kissing and touching a girl. As I said literally every morning or other morning I was having these perverted dreams Now, I have had ware-fare like this before and was able to overcome but this lasted for a very long season. I never shared this with anyone until now because based on experiences with warfares like this before I have learnt that man don’t have the answers to everything.

I want to tell someone reading this piece today, there are times you will face oppositions that you have to be still and know that God is God. “Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.” -Psalm 46:10 and if he allows it, it is for a great cause, you just need to find the knowledge as to what it is that he wants you to learn. The scripture says "Blessed be the LORD my strength which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight: My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer; my shield, and he in whom I trust; who subdueth my people under me.”

Psalm 144 people of God some situations will come where you are going to have to cry out to God not for deliverance but to teach your hands how to fight.

I must say, during this difficult season the Lord would reassure me with scriptures like “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2 so I knew he wanted me to know that he is taking me through this fire and that he is here with me but Lord, I would rather for this door to just be closed I really don’t want to go through this fire. This season became so overwhelming to the point I couldn’t even pray anymore about the matter. As a Christian I shouldn’t even be having these types of dreams to begin with but I had no one else to blame I opened a door and didn't even know how I opened it all because of foolish speaking.

My deliverance never came easy but one day it finally came. I woke up to do my morning devotion one morning and I was greeted by the Holy Spirit with a scripture from Psalms 50

“The mighty God, even the Lord, hath spoken, and called the earth from the rising of the sun unto the going down thereof.

2 Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God hath shined.

3 Our God shall come, and shall not keep silence: a fire shall devour before him, and it shall be very tempestuous round about him.

4 He shall call to the heavens from above, and to the earth, that he may judge his people.

5 Gather my saints together unto me; those that have made a covenant with me by sacrifice.

6 And the heavens shall declare his righteousness: for God is judge himself. Selah.

7 Hear, O my people, and I will speak; O Israel, and I will testify against thee: I am God, even thy God.

8 I will not reprove thee for thy sacrifices or thy burnt offerings, to have been continually before me.

9 I will take no bullock out of thy house, nor he goats out of thy folds.

10 For every beast of the forest is mine, and the cattle upon a thousand hills.

11 I know all the fowls of the mountains: and the wild beasts of the field are mine.

12 If I were hungry, I would not tell thee: for the world is mine, and the fulness thereof.

13 Will I eat the flesh of bulls, or drink the blood of goats?

14 Offer unto God thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the most High:

15 And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.

16 But unto the wicked God saith, What hast thou to do to declare my statutes, or that thou shouldest take my covenant in thy mouth?

17 Seeing thou hatest instruction, and casteth my words behind thee.

18 When thou sawest a thief, then thou consentedst with him, and hast been partaker with adulterers.

19 Thou givest thy mouth to evil, and thy tongue frameth deceit.

20 Thou sittest and speakest against thy brother; thou slanderest thine own mother's son.

21 These things hast thou done, and I kept silence; thou thoughtest that I was altogether such an one as thyself: but I will reprove thee, and set them in order before thine eyes.

22 Now consider this, ye that forget God, lest I tear you in pieces, and there be none to deliver.

23 Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me: and to him that ordereth his conversation aright will I shew the salvation of God.”

In a nutshell the Lord said to me why should I allow you to teach my commands? When you don’t consider the evil that proceed from your mouth. The same tongue you use to edify is the same tongue you use to destroy. As I reflect on this scripture I started to see how many people were affected by my choice of words. My husband, friends and family were hurting because I with my words wound them. I began to repent which led me to psalms 51. After my devotion I went to sleep. Previously I had told the Lord that when I was delivered from this thing I wanted to see this in a dream to be sure I was now delivered. I dreamt that same morning that I saw a street dog in Jamaica we call them (mongrel) this dog was in my house, these kinds of dogs were dogs that were exposed to every and anything. Dogs tht would be impregnated by different dogs if it was a female and if it was a male then it would have sex with every and any female dog. These dogs eat anything to stay alive etc.. so of course seeing a dog like that in your house was not a good sign. I began to to pull the dog out but the dog refused to get out. I began using a broom to sweep this dog out, when the dog got close to the door 🚪 he tried to go back inside and I began to sweep it but then it got smaller and smaller while I was sweeping it out by the time it got to the edge of the door way it turned into a worm which I swept it out. Then I woke up, as I pondered on the dream I was led by the spirit of God to get up and worship. While I turn on some music and began to worship the spirit of God poured out on me like a rushing wind. He began to minister to me on the office that I am called in. That my words are very important. How my words that I had spoken in my marriage against my husband comparing him to an abominable relationship that involved an unclean spirit had opened me up to that same spirit to torment me. I understand that, my mantle in which I carry is not a joke. God was not playing with this office that he called me in. Whatever I bless is blessed and whatever I curse is cursed. This is the mantle in which he has given me. My words carry weight, it is powerful, it is anointed, it brings forth whatever seed it represents. I am not an ordinary servant and neither are you. We are all called into certain offices. Therefore, we must examine our lives daily. Some of the things we are going through it is because of our own foolishness and spoken words.

In the book of Mark 11:12-25 we learn of a story of Jesus and the fig tree. Jesus carried the seven fold of the spirit of God a very heavy mantle. By his spoken words a tree was withered up instantly, a perfect example of the power of words. What about Elijah and the other prophets? They all by their words powerful manifestations of the glory of God was revealed in the ancient days. I must say that long before this happened I saw the attack in a dream and I understood that an unclean spirit would enter in my life but I had no idea that I would be the one to let this spirit in.

The Lord warned me so many other times before this season came of my words. I remember one night I dreamt that a pastor that I knew came and said to me that he was afraid to let people knew he was associated with me because of my words. I could tell you of more encounters but in a nutshell the Lord wanted me to have the revelation in knowledge of how important and the kind of weight MY words carry. Why? The mantle that was given in the office I am called and to educate you his people so you do too can do an introspect of yourself and your choice of words and how they proceed out of your mind. GOD HATE EVIL SPEAKING!

You're probably wondering what office I’m I referring to and what is my calling, this is something that the LORD by his Will, he will reveal to you if he chooses but for now the point is knowing your mantle you carry and the requirements it will take to carry that mantle. Hallelujah!

Finally, I learned my lesson that as I grow in the office in which I am called I have to be wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove. My prayer for you today with this that I have shared with you that you will seek God on your purpose because every thing about you is tied and all wrapped up in what God created you to be. Nothing will make sense to you until you find your divine purpose then you will see how it all works together for your good. I am blessed to share this with you today. How you carry your mantle will affect God's people in a negative or positive way. One of the attributes of the mantle you carry can be "the power of your words" be very careful how you use it. You have a choice with your words to edify or to wound, which is your choice?

I choose to edify…